If you have missed the beginning of our story just click {here} to read it first
Continued from Part 3:
I was furious and confused and stressed out. 5 hours after giving birth this crazy house of counselors with no degrees were accusing my husband of getting high while he was at the hospital. I felt like I was screaming my prayers into the ceiling and they were just coming right back down to me. I needed an answer. I need to know HOW to make it so Courtney could come home to our new family. (There’s my Co-Dependency flaring again….)
“And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life though the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself”
The labs came back from analysing the drug test. It was a false positive. He had not used. I couldn’t understand why on earth they wouldn’t have just given him a second drug test. The “help” that came from the Horizon house from that point on was terrible. Courtney wanted more than anything in the world to come home and be a husband and father. He did everything they told him to do. He was kicked out of the Horizon House a few weeks later for “noncompliance”. During that time I had moved back to Salt Lake to live with my parents to have help with Ivie.
Courtney was sent back to jail for 2 months where he was finally released on probation, November 12, 2003. He had been gone for more than 6 months. But he was home! And he was sober! We were ready to move on with our lives, we had battled everything and everyone to stay together and now we finally were together and could face anything right? Right?
Court went to AA and NA meetings for the next 18 months as part of his probation. When it was complete his charges were expunged from his record.
I wish I could say that was our happily ever after moment, but it wasn’t. Courtney battled with depression and I battled with Co-Dependency. Slowly our lives were headed back into
During this time my poor husband didn’t know how to deal with my complete personality change. I went from being his loving and devoted rock; to never being home, never wanting to be around him and pushing him out of my new life. He began to use again.
When everything finally came out we swayed back and forth for months about separating. Its heart wrenching and anyone who has experienced it my heart goes out to you. Court started going to AA meetings again and I quit Mary Kay and got a real job….that actually brought in real money (novel idea right?)
We lived in this hell of uncertainty for a year and a half. Neither one wanting to contribute anything to our marriage because we didn’t know if it would survive. There was a trust breech by both parties and we didn’t know how to restore it.
Then another miracle happened. I became pregnant with Dylan. This was it, we had to choose. Make it work or don’t. Like Yoda says “Do, or do not, there is no try” We chose to make it work. We were both ready for a new life and started going to church for the first time in 6 years. We were working with our bishop and making preparations so that we could become ready to go to the Temple. He encouraged us to go the the LDS 12 Step meetings and we did for a while. They were great but Courtney wasn’t ready to be sober. His heart wasn’t pierced. We became lax in our hope for recovery.
In May of 2009 we put an offer on a house and moved out of our little apartment. Its so amazing to me looking back how easy it is to turn away from God when you feel like you are doing alright.
To be continued…..
Only 1 more part to go! Thanks for hanging in there with me, the next one is the best!
……..!
This is weird, but my first reaction to reading this was ‘yay!’ I think because I could see a light at the end of the tunnel for you guys, finally finding your way out of your darkness. And I’m so happy that you went back to church (that sounds totally patronizing, but I’m not intending it that way.) God is the only way out, as you fully know. It’s great to read about others transformations into the person they are now.
Its crazy how we are blessed with a child at the right moment. None of my kids were planned 😉 but they all worked huge miracles when they came into our lives. I feel they all have a role in keeping our family together…..forever…! your an awesome writer by the way. I’m all into your story and check your blog daily like a crazy person 🙂 can’t wait to read the rest!!!
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Dear Miss America,
It’s interesting how you mentioned Mary Kay as a negative in your life…I too sold MK and earned a car etc. But after 1 year I realized that I had spent a lot of time serving others and not my family. My focus had changed. Then I remembered; Everything I ever wanted was right in front of me, at home…
I am so happy that you started going back to church! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the best “medicine” in any circumstance! Good for you! Good for Courtney! Hugs~
I love your blog! Thanks for sharing your talents, as well as your struggles. I hope I run into you over at the St. George DI :)sometime! Looking forward to reading the rest of the story!
You know I love you already and can’t wait for the end…. I know it’s a happy ending!
Girl. . . wow. This is such a story!! I cannot wait for the end. I know I keep saying this but don’t leave us hanging for too long!
Also, will you please PLEASE tell me more about MK? Like in an email? I really REALLY want to know about what you mean about the stuff not really being free. (have a certain family member who got sucked in to it all). If you have any time to give me more info I would love it!
I have very much enjoyed reading your real life story, we all have on and it’s refreshing to know we aren’t alone with our ‘dark’ moments in life. I wanted to say one thing about Mary Kay though. I have previously been a MK consultant but am no longer with the company. While I think any company has its share of ‘money grubbers’ I have to say that MK was one of the kindest companies I have ever worked with. I do not believe your director or anyone else in your unit should have been treating you, your family, or your circumstances the way they did. However, I believe that there ARE a lot of people who greatly benefit from MK and that many of the leaders in the company are kind, compassionate people. While at convention in Dallas one year I met one of the MK truck drivers who told me what a blessing it was to have finally been taken off the waiting list to work for the company! He said he would never leave MK as it was the best most rewarding company he had worked for. I don’t think there are any “tricks” you have to work hard to make money, and like any business you own have to put out money for inventory, supplies, etc. I don’t blame you for leaving the unit you were with, I just hope others realize that your experience was atypical.